Memories
by Meilin Li
Summary: Dita and Jima.


Memories

By: Meilin Li

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.

A/N: Wrote this almost three years ago. Just decided to post it now. Enjoy. Comments are always appreciated.

You remember don't you Jima? The day we got our freedom from the Government was … well it was indescribable. Now don't give me that look. I know what you're going to say; that we're not free yet; we must still carry out their plans.

But you know what I think? I think that we're free in the goodness to natural sense of the word. We can go and do things to our heart's desire and the only catch is to fulfill our duties. That's a good price for freedom. Don't you think so?

I know you Jima. You regard me as naïve, child-like even. You try to keep me in the dark many a times. But really, I'm not as innocent as you would think. I'm your protector, your guardian, Jima; I know a lot more then I let on. Trust me.

You're _my ward_; you don't have to shield me the same way I try to shelter you. I can look after myself perfectly fine. After all, I do have _the _most technologically advanced protection and defense programs this world has _ever_ seen.

I still remember the time we first met, Jima. Something inside these sizzling circuits and wires told me that you were the one. The one I was to protect. The one I was supposed to give my life for.

I'm not disappointed that it is for you whom I'm supposed to do these things; in fact I'm very much content with it. I'm more than content with it actually. I like having to take care of you. You don't give me much trouble and we're good together; we fit each other like conjoined pieces to an enormous puzzle. I haven't ever had someone to take care of, and oddly enough it makes me feel complete.

_You make me feel complete._

You're my other half.

The Yang to my Yin.

Without you, my soul isn't whole. You probably believe that persocons don't have souls only because it's a human thing. It is yet another thing we persocons don't have … or do we? You could say it's our specialized self-regulating programs. But could it be something else entirely? Could it be that our very thoughts are our souls?

After all, what is a soul really? It is the spiritual embodiment of a being; the very essence of life? Or is it something unseen, unheard, and unknown? And if it is that, couldn't we possibly, even given the slightest chance, have a soul? If you don't think that argument is adequate enough, then I will say, can we ever be entirely sure of what a soul is?

You know, on a certain level, persocons are life; albeit a very scientific and mathematical one. So is it not only right to assume that you and I are living, self-governing beings? That perchance we too have souls?

I don't have to even look at your expression to even sense a hint of what you're thinking. I know you better than you know yourself. 'It's just your programs talking Dita, love,' is probably fighting to be said from your lips. But I don't care, I have my own theories too you know.

I have an inkling sense that you and I were created as more then just mere programs. I think we're like them. You know what I'm hinting at, the Chobits. How else would you explain these things that crackle through my circuits at the oddest moments of the day? 'But that's not possible; we can't be part of the Chobits series,' you'd probably say. But you know what? I think we can.

Think about it … Hibiya holds all of the knowledge of what her husband used on both Freya and Chii. And she did work with the government after the death of her daughters and her husband. Do you think that there could be a _slight chance_; just the slightest chance that during that time she could've let more than enough information leak to build us? So is it not a possibility that our similarities to these legendary Chobits are higher than average?

It has to be because there is no other explanation for these … feelings Jima. And don't you deny it; I know you feel them too.

Nevertheless … no matter who or what we are I know we'll be okay. Because I know we're good together.

We fit like hand and glove.

As I gaze upon your sleeping face now, I can feel an overwhelming sense of pride. Why? Well, it's because you're more than what I expected in a ward … much more.

In actuality, I don't think it's you who needs me; you're more than capable of handling yourself.

But words cannot express how much _I need you_.

You look a bit confused and dazed as you rub the sleep from your ever-so-stormy eyes. It's peculiar how we're programmed with everyday human reactions even when we don't need it; like yawning for instance. I suppose it makes us appear more real than how we really are.

"Dita, love, what's wrong?"

You're so sweet, always worrying about me. Oh if I was human, my heart would've melted at those words.

"I'm just thinking. Go back to sleep."

You offer no resistance as you nestle back into a dreamless state; I can see how exhausted you are. And as I run my fingers through your silky black hair your grey eyes flutter close for a moment and I smile that smile reserved only for you.

The slight rise and fall of your chest and the flutter of your eyelids almost makes me believe that you're one of _them_; human.

I can see them walking carelessly on the streets below now. Even from afar I can see the emotions alternating across their features. What makes them so special? Why do they feel these things that normal persocons can't?

What makes them worthy of these _emotions_ as they like to call them? Why is it that we, persocons are forbidden to feel? But I know that the questions flowing through my mind will never be answered. And it's because no one knows the answer.

But that doesn't keep me from thinking. What if we could all feel that way too? What if all persocons had the ability to have these so called emotions? Would we be more…free?

Do these magical little signals from one's minds convey more than what one knows? Is that what makes someone an individual who is free?

I don't understand things like she does. Perhaps on some level, you and she are more similar than you and I. I was not programmed to understand emotions such as this, love, sadness, regret. And I don't think I ever will learn what it is, even if I am a persocon built to acquire and learn from my surroundings.

I don't know what love is. You know that better than anyone.

I will never be able to feel the same about you, the way you feel about me. I can't give you back what you need Jima…

But I know something very evident streaming through my circuits; I _want _you by my side more than anything else I've ever wanted.


End file.
